Sports for Girls

C’mon ladies, grab a Lazy Boy and a brew. It’s fun!

I love sports generally, and Boston sports in particular. Not playing so much, but watching them live and on TV. Give me a handy pack, a bag of Lays and a tub of onion dip and I am good to go for an entire Sunday. Put me on the first base line a Fenway, and I’ll sit right there blissed out on peanuts and watery Coors, screaming at the umpires and participating in the wave for nine full innings. I’ve never actually been to Foxboro, but I have my dreams, most of which involve Wes Welker, the Real Housewives of South Boston and mocking chants of “Hey Rex, suck my toes.” I have been to the Boston Garden, but my memories of the occasions are, not surprisingly, a bit hazy. I’ll even listen to sports radio on a long drive, though Mr Slattern, whose brain is larger and somewhat more evolved than mine I’ll admit, prefers me to confine these binges to solo trips. Given the blue-ness of the air and my propensity for enraged commentary, especially when listening to that soppy fool Michael Kay, it is, I suppose understandable.

In any case, as I was saying, I am a fan, and as such am puzzled by the general lack of enthusiasm evidenced by a significant number of my gender. Why anyone in her right mind would watch Sleepless in Seattle at all, let alone instead of a playoff game, is a complete mystery to me. I can only conclude that the Estrogen Disinformation Network is winning the propaganda war, and this will not stand. There is way too much fun to be had on the Sunday sofa, so I’m taking it upon myself to drag my uninformed sisters to the party.

Why I like sports (and you should, too)

There’s drama.

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There’s comedy.

Courtesy Bump Shack.

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There is even the occasional miracle.

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You might just spot a Kardashian in the stands (if you go in for that kind of thing).

Khloe and Lammy via celebuzz.com

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You get your  heroes and villains all in one place.

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Team jerseys finally come in figure flattering styles.

Available from the great guys at Surviving Grady. Click the photo to buy a shirt!

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Wearing a cap means you don’t have to wash your hair.

Courtesy leanna-ellis.blogspot.com

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Then of course there’s Tom Brady.

Photo Jim Rogash/Getty Images, via ABC News.

And for the single gals out there who think all the good ones are either taken, gay or hiding, let me offer up this little piece of advice. Get yourselves to a sports bar on a Sunday afternoon, order up a brew (not a diet coke or a glass of white wine) and wait for the party to start. Trust me on this one. You will not be lacking for attention.

What’ve you got to lose?

About WSW

Writer, wife, mother. Toiler in the bottomless, black, soul-sucking coal mine of domestic life. Thank God for the portable bar.

Posted on October 27, 2012, in Sports and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.

  1. I knew I like you. I sat in the Foxboro stands watching the Pats kick the Titans butts while listening to the Sox play the Yankees. I was pregnant at the time so I couldn’t drink my weight in beer but it was still glorious. I’m a huge Patriots and Bruins fan and though baseball lacks the amount of relentless action and violence I like in my sports, I do support my husband’s Sox addiction. There is very little that is more enjoyable to me than sitting with a group of fellow sports enthusiasts, drinking beer, eating things that will aggravate my acid reflux and watching sports. Meg Ryan just can’t compete with that.

    • We must meet. I agree, faced with a choice between watching a Meg Ryan movie (other than the ones with Dennis Quaid) or doing almost anything else, including preparing a four course meal for a big group of my inlaws while in the throes of a massive hangover, I would choose the latter. Every single time.

  2. Love this and if you can get my Liz completely on board with the NFL then you will forever be my hero. :-)

  3. Ah yes, a lady after my own heart! We were grubbing out to bacon-wrapped jalapenos, bean dip, and LOTS of Sunday football yesterday – life is grand… :)

  4. hahaha…Thanks Tomwisk. I think I will be using “ass hat” a lot in the future.

    I have to confess that I love football…especially the CFL. Sorry, three downs is much more exciting. And I remember Doug Flutie when he was a Toronto Argonaut. Not only do I love the game, but let’s face it girls–guys look great in football gear. It makes beer-bellied guys and skinny minnies, alike, look good.
    And when I was a kid I had a mad crush on Tom Clements. Yup, the QB coach for Green Bay was once a CFL superstar, taking my home team, the Ottawa Rough Riders to the Grey Cup.

    I still don’t get basketball though. Sorry.

  5. I take objection to anyone calling hockey a non-sport, but I digress. What I really wanted to tell you was, “Hells ya and I’m on your side, or team,” women can be sports loving. Did I mention hockey? Best sport in the world.

  6. I have been away and I must say I missed your posts…

  7. I miss Johnny Most every day.

  8. I think I love you :). A perfect Sunday is me parked on the couch all day watching every game that I can.. and it perfectly dreamy if I can get big Tom on the screen. There is nothing better than Fenway..NOTHING. Estrogen Disinformation Network — haa good one.

  9. Reblogged this on The Ranting Papizilla and commented:
    Heck yes! All the ladies should watch sports! My wife enjoys watching all the sports with me. :)

  10. Having just made it through a dead end season by both the Mets and Sox I have to spend a lot of time listening to CDs of gently flowing streams to stop from yelling colorful obscenities at the TV, (Get a f***king life asshat. You can’t buy a Senate seat) These are aimed at politicians with who I disagree. Watching Detroit and San Fran play the World Series is cold comfort as I head into dormancy. I stopped watching football and hoops because they are beginning to bore the s**t out of me and hockey is a non-sport, just figure skating with fights. Soccer blows and the should export all the teams to Europe where they’ll be appreciated. Sorry, I’m getting cranky.

  1. Pingback: How’s all that exercise working out for ya? « The Kitchen Slattern Speaks

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