Thank God that’s over

Dateline New York

Widely available. More ridiculous than ever.

Trust me, folks, the ironic old man hat is over, finit, passé. Stick a fork in it, it’s done. If you persist in wearing one, rest assured you will most certainly and immediately join the ranks of the tragic and the lame. After all, the only thing worse than a hipster is a hipster wannabe. I say this not to injure, but to enlighten.

Courtesy Splash News

Not convinced? Think that raffish topper from Target is just what you need to catapault your bad self to nerd elite status while walking the mall or sipping your latte? Consider this then. Justin Beiber wears one.

So please, now that spring is officially here, and you can put away that ridiculous Rocket J. Squirrel and its pal the Commissar, give the sighted public a break and try going hatless for the season. The vitamin D will do you good.

And by the way, since we’re on the subject of summer fashion — Ladies, wearing dirty, ratty old boots with a summer dress in stinking hot weather is gross and nasty. It telegraphs one thing and one thing only: “Mah feet smell.”  This never looked good, but now it looks bad AND out of date. And don’t even consider UGGS unless you’re under twelve.

For the love of God, just get some flip flops. Please?

About WSW

Writer, wife, mother. Toiler in the bottomless, black, soul-sucking coal mine of domestic life. Thank God for the portable bar.

Posted on April 21, 2012, in Friendly Advice, The Slattern Speaks and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Snoring Dog Studio

    Anyone who’d use Bieber as his fashion guide is lost – totally lost. I’d say I’m okay with the boots and dress thing if you’re living in Texas and hanging out at country western dance halls. But not anywhere else. And, I confess to have done it, but never will again.

  2. I’m all for getting rid of ratty boots with the dresses. My personal peeve has always been the sneakers with jeans look, as made famous by Seinfield. I know that’s extremely snobbish on my part, but I would’ve preferred to see Seinfield in 3″ heels with the jeans…though that would’ve made it a very different kind of show.

    • I believe the show was made. It was called Sex in the City if memory serves. Not nearly as funny, but, yes, the shoes were better.

  3. Though I support your assertion that the old man hat fetish is officially passe, I’m not sure if referencing the fact that Justin Bieber wears one as justification. After all, he wears lip gloss, too – and I’m not giving mine up.

  4. The fact that Justin Bieber wears pants should be enought of an incentive for real men to switch to kilts. Note to male sandal wearers: No socks, wearing black calf high socks with sandals is a indication of recent emigration from a poverty stricken former SSR.

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