Pumpkin Fisting: Fun for the whole family!
The marketing geniuses at 16 Handles promote squash-flavored ooze as “Fist Pumpkin” and invite the public to Size It!, Pull It! and Top It!. No, I am not kidding.
Tell me the truth. Is it me?
So, the other night, Mr. Slattern and I passed the local 16 Handles outpost on the way home from a delightful dinner and movie date that featured the magical combination of George Clooney, brick oven pizza and at least half a dozen Aperol Spritzes — each. As you might imagine, we were in a pretty festive mood. And so it was with some little merriment, and a fair bit of snorting, that we noted, and photographed, the promotional campaign for the newest flavor of the fro-yo chain’s petroleum byproduct dessert food, which is apparently chockablock with “pumpkin goodness.”
The next morning, with a somewhat clearer head, I wondered whether the whole incident had been a mere figment of my imagination — a sort of Lost Weekend moment. But then I scrolled through my messages and came upon the evidence in the form of a snap taken by my better half, who somehow managed to hold his camera-phone steady while laughing uproariously with a not insignificant load on. Just a guy, but what a guy.
Anyways, getting back to the pumpkin sludge we are being invited to fist…oh forget it. You take my point by now I’m sure, and if you don’t, you’re probably better off. File it under “What were they thinking?” and try to salvage what little regard for the intelligence of the human race you have left is my advice.
Posted on October 28, 2013, in Commentary, Weird Weird Weird and tagged 16 Handles, Aperol Spritz, frozen yogurt, George Clooney, Halloween, Holiday, Home, Jack'o Lantern, Kitchen Slattern, Plant, Pumpkin, Pumpkin Patch, Slattern. Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.
Bloody hell, Slattern. this is priceless. Do you think maybe it’s a knowing joke? Or do you think they’re just dorks?
Have you ever sat through a marketing meeting? Dorks, Duncan. No question. 😉
I spent the best part of 20 years in marketing, and I knew a couple of product managers I could persuade to have a laugh with this one.
Sad but true.
I don’t think it’s sad to be up for some fun and games. I think you meant that they were too thick to notice what was going on, but I knew a couple who would be active and very willing participants in a ruse of this nature.
At first glance I read PUMPKIN FISHING and thought this was some weird Slattern household tradition where bobbing for apples/pumpkins collide. But FISTING? You must really know how to make your own fun over there on the East Coast.
That weird Slattern household tradition is VODKA fishing, Susan. Silly girl.
I wish I could say I didn’t get this, but I do. I’ll blame it on all the testosterone-fueled humor in my home…
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I thought it was something completely different. I’ve only heard about it.
Try not to think about it is my advice.
Just so very wrong. And to think some shhhhhmuck got paid to think of it. Really?
As Steve Martin once said, or sang actually: “I get paid for doin’ thisssss….”
Fisting??? Come on! Somebody shoulda done their homework. Still laughing.