Pumpkin Fisting: Fun for the whole family!

The marketing geniuses at 16 Handles promote squash-flavored ooze as “Fist Pumpkin” and invite the public to Size It!, Pull It! and Top It!. No, I am not kidding.

Tell me the truth. Is it me?

Fist pumpkinSo, the other night, Mr. Slattern and I passed the local 16 Handles outpost on the way home from a delightful dinner and movie date that featured the magical combination of George Clooney, brick oven pizza and at least half a dozen Aperol Spritzes — each. As you might imagine, we were in a pretty festive mood.  And so it was with some little merriment, and a fair bit of snorting, that we noted, and photographed, the  promotional campaign for the newest flavor of the fro-yo chain’s petroleum byproduct dessert food, which is apparently chockablock with “pumpkin goodness.”

The next morning, with a somewhat clearer head, I wondered whether the whole incident had been a mere figment of my imagination — a sort of Lost Weekend moment. But then I scrolled through my messages and came upon the evidence in the form of a snap taken by my better half, who somehow managed to hold his camera-phone steady while laughing uproariously with a not insignificant load on. Just a guy, but what a guy.

Anyways, getting back to the pumpkin sludge we are being invited to fist…oh forget it. You take my point by now I’m sure, and if you don’t, you’re probably better off. File it under “What were they thinking?” and try to salvage what little regard for the intelligence of the human race you have left is my advice.

About WSW

Writer, wife, mother. Toiler in the bottomless, black, soul-sucking coal mine of domestic life. Thank God for the portable bar.

Posted on October 28, 2013, in Commentary, Weird Weird Weird and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. Bloody hell, Slattern. this is priceless. Do you think maybe it’s a knowing joke? Or do you think they’re just dorks?

  2. At first glance I read PUMPKIN FISHING and thought this was some weird Slattern household tradition where bobbing for apples/pumpkins collide. But FISTING? You must really know how to make your own fun over there on the East Coast.

  3. I wish I could say I didn’t get this, but I do. I’ll blame it on all the testosterone-fueled humor in my home…

    Thanks for stopping by my site. I appreciate it. 🙂

  4. I thought it was something completely different. I’ve only heard about it.

  5. Just so very wrong. And to think some shhhhhmuck got paid to think of it. Really?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: