Posted on December 9, 2013, in Commentary, Life and times and tagged Barbie, clever folks, First Amendment, Grateful Dead, Kitchen Slattern, Profanity, Punchnel, Punchnel's, Reading, Slattern, Swear. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.
Eat well. Drink more. Work less.
I am a kitchen slattern.
I stick my finger in the vinaigrette to check the taste, add more vinegar, then stick the same finger in again. Sometimes I use a lettuce leaf, but not usually. You know you do it, too.
I make cakes from scratch but almost never use more than one bowl. That business about blending wet and dry ingredients separately is bullshit. One cake, one bowl. Why wash two? I have my suspicions about the role of Big Dish Soap in this.
I believe you can eat well with a lot less effort than you think, and if you drink more than is generally considered advisable while doing it, that's strictly between you and Mssrs Moet and Chandon.
I believe that the extra pain, suffering and time it takes to do any household task well is wasted once you get to well enough.
I believe you might as well be drunk if you're going to vacuum, and you should be if you're going to clean the toilet.
If you're interested, I've got opinions on just about everything else.
I am a kitchen slattern, and if you hang around here long enough you might be, too.
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Because I said so, that's why.
Alas, I am not a profanity-ridden harlot, but your article is funnier than sh*t(e) which might explain why you haven’t been posting lately. Congrats!
PS: For your amusement, I’ll have you know that I’ve a gig writing articles and press releases for a Russian/China bride dating site. (No f*ckin’ sh*ter-ama.) For as much as one would pay for a foot massage with an under-fed, under-aged third-world child whose salary per day is less than our manicures, I’m imploring the sad lonely male saps of the western world to marry the blood-sucking overseas bride of their dreams.
You are NOT serious. SEND ME THE LINK.
Wendi. I swear and have given up using it for shock value. Now it is part of the language.
Maybe it’s more shocking and subversive if you DON’T swear. Rebellion takes many forms, my friend.
Unlike you, I’ve never been good at releasing a stream of obscenities–in English OR French. 😉 Which is odd considering I watch so many movies and TV shows packed with F-bombs and more. I’d like to use the excuse that I’m lady-like, but, well, that’s just laughable…
Great article!
Thanks, Carrie. You’re a better human being than I am, but then again, who isn’t?
Ha, you make me laugh, so that balances everything out.
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