Okay, I realize you have probably already seen this Prancercise workout video. It’s got five million hits on YouTube (I can personally account for at least three dozen), and its viralization has been endlessly covered from the Today Show to the HuffPo. But I have got to say that this is the weirdest shit I have seen (outside a lock-down ward) in a very long time, and I would be remiss if I didn’t point it out to you on the off chance it had escaped your notice.
Remember that weird kid in first grade who ate paste? I think we’ve finally found out what became of her.
According to the forecasters, today in New York, the mercury will climb to 90 degrees (Farenheit, not Celsius for my Euro friends — fear not). The lilacs are blooming, the grill is up and running and the rum is flowing like water through the proverbial desert of my life. In short, folks, I’m in the mood for a party.
Some of you may recall an earlier foray into the party mix arena that we took at Christmas. I was somewhat surprised that my readers had any interest at all in the subject of what to fill the speakers with, though a good party mix is crucial to a festive evening, and essential if you’re hoping to stretch the evening well into the next day. In my opinion, it’s not a party until someone dons the lampshade, strips naked or frugs on the dining table. If one intrepid guest takes on all three at once, well, he’s probably a close relative of mine, and I’d hope others would join in the spirit of the moment and eventually call me to the ER. I realize not everyone keeps a stomach pump on hand, though for the life of me I don’t know why. Ours is right next to its pal the fire extinguisher, and I’d be lying if I said we frequently used one without the other, especially around the holidays. So there you go.
To my way of thinking there’s not much that compares to the smell and taste of homemade biscuits hot from the oven. A simpler bread there never was, nor a more adaptable one. You can fill them or roll them up with sugar and cinnamon. You can serve them at any meal of the day, accompanied by butter, jam, honey or just bear naked; they never fail to please.
If you’ve got a big Kitchen Aid mixer or the like, it does the work for you, and if you’ve followed my advice and bought yourself a pastry mat, clean up is a breeze. So this is why it surprises me that those nasty baking mixes continue to line the supermarket shelves and can readily be found in homes across America. No one would make ’em if they didn’t sell.
And don’t even get me started on this abomination. He has creeped me out ever since I learned to spin the dial on the big Motorola floor model in Grammie Sue’s living room. That giggle, the fetal dough face, the neck scarf with no pants. Gives me a shudder just thinking about it. Always has. And if you’ve never taken a squint at the nutritional content (and I’m slinging the term nutritional around here with what can only be called reckless abandon) of Bisquick or the dough boy’s demon offspring, you really should. Nasty fats and sodium levels at least double what you find in scratch made biscuits.
Not with a double VBA to keep me warm!
Apparently it’s awards season in the blogosphere. How else to explain the accolades that of late have come my way with nary a whiff of payola in the air. OK, I may have sent the odd gift basket or tin of fudge, but that’s really the extent of it, unless of course you count that one night in Biloxi….No, that definitely doesn’t count as bribery. Entrapment, perhaps, but not bribery.
In any case, two of my new blog amies, the lovely and talented Vickie from Jumping in Mud Puddles and youthful yet oh so clever ksnapped, have seen fit to send a flattering ray of pink spotlight my way by bestowing the Versatile Blogger Award upon me, and I am grateful and thrilled to be in such illustrious company. Thanks, Vickie and K!
As always, there are rules. Here they are:
- In a post on your blog, nominate 10 fellow bloggers for The Versatile Blogger Award.
- In the same post, add the Versatile Blogger Award.
- In the same post, thank the blogger who nominated you in a post with a link back to their blog.
- In the same post, share seven completely random pieces of information about yourself.
- In the same post, include this set of rules.
- Inform each nominated blogger of their nomination by posting a comment on each of their blogs.
Simple enough. Let’s begin. Seven completely random pieces of information about me:
- Any food that involves wet bread repels me. Ugh, stuffing.
- I am distantly related to the most miserly woman in the world, Hetty Green, aka the Witch of Wall Street.
- I have never, ever worn a track suit/wind suit or whatever they are called, and you shouldn’t either. If anyone tells you these are acceptable as day wear, assume they are out to humiliate you.
- My first car was a bronze 1970 Ford Ltd. It was bigger than most countries.
- I am trying to learn to surf, but it’s not going as well as I’d like.
- When I was two and a half, I ate an entire bottle of orange-flavored baby aspirin and had to have my stomach pumped.
- I am no stranger to emergency rooms. See #6.
OK, so now my nominees. When the Taller than Average femme fatale sent the 7 x 7 Link Award my way, I passed it on to the bloggers whose writing I think is stellar. This time, I’d like to put the spotlight on bloggers whose sites are really well put together. Those of you who undertake this task know how difficult it can be to make things look nice, but presentation, though not everything, certainly does matter. Unlike the horrifying chaos of my own little corner of the blogosphere, these five have great looking sites, and of course, they also can write. I’m only including five instead of the mandated ten (which I admit is cheating) because quite honestly most of the blogs I read have already received this and many other awards. Also, by the time I stop in at all the blogs I want to visit, my day is shot, I’m still in my pajamas and it’s freaking dinner time already. Anyways, feast your eyes:
Once again, thank you so much K and Vickie.
Generally speaking (and I mean very generally) I confine my ramblings to food and drink or the mundane world of household chores, but I do have other interests and feel compelled from time to time to express an opinion or hazard a conjecture on that which falls outside the domestic realm. Such was the case last week when my virtual pal, the Freshly Pressed Cristy Carrington, penned a post entitled 5 Reasons Why God Loves Short People Best. As I am somewhat lacking in stature I begged to differ, and the good folks at More magazine have seen fit to include my little rant among their member blogs.
I hope you’ll have a look. Here’s the link just in case: