Eat well. Drink more. Work less.
I am a kitchen slattern.
I stick my finger in the vinaigrette to check the taste, add more vinegar, then stick the same finger in again. Sometimes I use a lettuce leaf, but not usually. You know you do it, too.
I make cakes from scratch but almost never use more than one bowl. That business about blending wet and dry ingredients separately is bullshit. One cake, one bowl. Why wash two? I have my suspicions about the role of Big Dish Soap in this.
I believe you can eat well with a lot less effort than you think, and if you drink more than is generally considered advisable while doing it, that's strictly between you and Mssrs Moet and Chandon.
I believe that the extra pain, suffering and time it takes to do any household task well is wasted once you get to well enough.
I believe you might as well be drunk if you're going to vacuum, and you should be if you're going to clean the toilet.
If you're interested, I've got opinions on just about everything else.
I am a kitchen slattern, and if you hang around here long enough you might be, too.
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Kitchen Slattern (c) copyright 2011 Wendie Winslow. The Slattern Speaks (c) copyright 2012 Wendie Winslow. All rights reserved. No reproduction in any medium without prior written consent of the author is permitted.
Because I said so, that's why.
Pumpkin Fisting: Fun for the whole family!
Posted by WSW
The marketing geniuses at 16 Handles promote squash-flavored ooze as “Fist Pumpkin” and invite the public to Size It!, Pull It! and Top It!. No, I am not kidding.
Tell me the truth. Is it me?
So, the other night, Mr. Slattern and I passed the local 16 Handles outpost on the way home from a delightful dinner and movie date that featured the magical combination of George Clooney, brick oven pizza and at least half a dozen Aperol Spritzes — each. As you might imagine, we were in a pretty festive mood. And so it was with some little merriment, and a fair bit of snorting, that we noted, and photographed, the promotional campaign for the newest flavor of the fro-yo chain’s petroleum byproduct dessert food, which is apparently chockablock with “pumpkin goodness.”
The next morning, with a somewhat clearer head, I wondered whether the whole incident had been a mere figment of my imagination — a sort of Lost Weekend moment. But then I scrolled through my messages and came upon the evidence in the form of a snap taken by my better half, who somehow managed to hold his camera-phone steady while laughing uproariously with a not insignificant load on. Just a guy, but what a guy.
Anyways, getting back to the pumpkin sludge we are being invited to fist…oh forget it. You take my point by now I’m sure, and if you don’t, you’re probably better off. File it under “What were they thinking?” and try to salvage what little regard for the intelligence of the human race you have left is my advice.
Posted in Commentary, Weird Weird Weird
Tags: 16 Handles, Aperol Spritz, frozen yogurt, George Clooney, Halloween, Holiday, Home, Jack'o Lantern, Kitchen Slattern, Plant, Pumpkin, Pumpkin Patch, Slattern