Now that I’ve upgraded the operating system on my laptop, I find that my printer no longer works. Neither Apple nor HP can offer any suggestions, beyond “buy a new printer.” See, my printer is too old (five years — practically stone age) to have a print driver in the sexy new Lion operating system. I wonder what’s next. Maybe my new RAM will father some lambs or I’ll have a complete plug-in failure. Worse, I may finally be forced to crack that nasty bottle of blackberry brandy Aunt Muriel sent us as a wedding gift in 1990.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”