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The slattern’s cure for what ails you…

lizPour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.

— Elizabeth Taylor

You can’t eat those things, can you, Thurston?

Candied violets are the Necco Wafers of the overbred.

~Fran Lebowitz, Metropolitan Life

Grannie’s candied violets courtesy eG Forums.

Garlic dammit!

Avoid at all costs that vile spew you see rotting in oil in screwtop jars. Too lazy to peel fresh? You don’t deserve to eat garlic.

~Anthony Bourdain

It’s amateur night. Take ‘er easy folks.

I like to have a martini,

Two at the very most.

After three I’m under the table,

after four I’m under my host.

~Dorothy Parker

Can we get that goddamned thing out of here now?

Next to the presidency, detrimming a tree has to be the loneliest job in the world. It has fallen to women for centuries and is considered a skill only they can do, like replacing the roll on the toilet tissue spindle, painting baseboards, holding a wet washcloth for a child who is throwing up or taking out a splinter with a needle.

~Erma Bombeck

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