Got no checkbooks, got no banks.  Still I’d like to express my thanks – I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night.

~Irving Berlin

Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.

~Stephen Colbert

I want to be Barbie. The bitch has everything.

~ everyone I know

Whipped cream isn’t whipped cream at all unless it’s been whipped with whips. Just as a poached egg isn’t a poached egg unless it’s been stolen from the woods in the dead of night!

~Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Have you ever seen Spode eat asparagus?
No.
Revolting. It alters one’s whole conception of Man as Nature’s last word.

~ Bertie Wooster