“I cook to inspire my husband to pay attention to me.” 
— Sonia Rumzi, Simple Conversation

As the quote above comes from a work of fiction, I am relieved to report it was never (to my knowledge) uttered by a real human being, though the fact that an author would even think it up is disturbing enough that it gave me pause.

I stumbled upon this little gem as I was trolling for snappy food and cooking quotes and was intrigued enough to look up the book, which apparently involves online dating, food and a woman so fascinatingly tragic she merits primary character status in a published work of fiction. It was reviewed by one reader as follows:

The characters I found humerus and charming.

Hmm, perhaps I’ll give this one a miss.

I do however, find the quote sufficiently alarming to issue the following warning: Ladies, if your husband isn’t paying attention to you (and you find that you give a shit), do NOT, under any circumstances, attempt to get his attention with a well prepared meal. This gives rise to unrealistic expectations and sets a dangerous marital precedent. Instead get a bikini wax, put on some lipstick and a pair of heels and give him another chance. Failing that, grab the Doritos and shoot out the TV. If he’s still tuned out, trade up. I hear this guy may be available, and apparently he’s more interested in drinks than dinner. Perfect!

“Call me.”
Via broadsheet.ie