So yesterday I’m sitting on the uptown F train wondering how the hell I’m going to get back in the swing, blogwise, after an extended hiatus from any serious writing. I mean I am racking my brain for inspiration and just coming up empty, teetering on the edge of some serious writer’s block and staring down the barrel of a full fledged panic attack.
And it is just then, in my moment of despair, that the gods of blogorreah smile down upon me and the proverbial clouds part — well actually the two fat guys standing directly in front of me took off for empty seats at either end of the car. So anyways I look up and I see this.
Yankees cologne. Yup, really. And just to be sure everyone can get in on the act, there’s also a fragrance for her. Look!
Now I’m not going to elaborate on the obvious, cheap references to the smell of Sabathia’s jock, a Bronx urinal or A-Rod’s preferred feminine wash; instead, I will just say, “Thank you, Mssrs Steinbrenner, Jeter and Rodriguez. You have reignited the flickering spark of snark in my twisted, Boston sports-obsessed mind and lit my way back to the land of the writing. Once again.”
Posted on April 15, 2012, in Sports, The Slattern Speaks, Weird Weird Weird and tagged Comedy, Creative Writing Prompts, Humor, Red Sox, Sports, Writers Block, Yankees. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.
Are you kidding me?? Ridiculous and priceless all at the same time.
That would be your Aura and Mystique at work, my friend.
NY Yankees perfume, my late sister would have whined and sniveled until she got a bottle. Ya gotta love NY marketing, they’ll sell anything to the gullible masses. If it’s branded with a Yankees logo some pigeon will buy it even if it smells like Jeter’s sweat socks and Arod’s jock. As a worshipper at the Churches of Fenway and Citi I really try reaaaal hard not to loathe the Tankees.
How can you help it?
Well, no wonder I haven’t heard a peep out of you lately! (Which is unusual.) Writer’s blocks are the worst but I have full confidence that you’ll return to your usual effervescent self after a few rum-based drinks.
I think it’s the pharmaceuticals that are really helping. All perfectly legal of course.
Oh, great! Now that you’re writing again, I suppose I have to start blogging again after my lengthy hiatus. My office isn’t even fully unpacked yet. But you’ve thrown down the gauntlet. I know, I know…you were just happy to be “unblocked,” but really – deep, deep down – you were prodding me as well. “Get off yer arse, Cristy. I’ve been to bloody Scotland and a Caribbean island and back in less time than it took you to move one hour away.” Okay, that could just be the guilt talking. Anyway, glad you’re back. I’ll be there with you soon.
SO looking forward to it!