Category Archives: Cocktails!
GLASS corks! What will they think of next?
Ain't that the craziest?
So there I was opening a bottle of my new favorite white wine, Cusumano Insolia from Sicily, and imagine my surprise upon discovering a glass stopper where the screw top should have been! At first I was somewhat taken aback and wondered how to extricate it from the bottle, but as my ever clear-headed husband pointed out, that’s what God gave us thumbs for. He then proceeded to pop the cork with nary a corkscrew, et voilà! The wine flowed like, well, wine.
Now you may have seen these little genius items, but they’re new to me, and I am some kind of excited. They fit right back in the bottle; you can keep ’em for future use in bottles with pesky cork stoppers; and they don’t stick up so far that the bottle can no longer be placed upright in the fridge without a massive reorganization requiring a slide rule and a Xanax. Win win win.
Ice wine harvest endangered!
Up to now I’ve been somewhat agnostic on the causes of global warming, but this news has decided the issue for me. Something must be done! Apparently the late frost up north this year has imperiled the frozen grape harvest that produces ice wines.
Now, if you’re not familiar with these lovely offerings, you can read all about them here. Or you can just rely on my unscientific summary, which is as follows: certain grapes are allowed to freeze on the vine, then are harvested and made into sweet wines. They’re pricey, but they come in small bottles and you’re supposed to sip rather than swill them, so the occasional splurge (dinner for the boss, entertaining George Clooney, intentionally pissing off your mother-in-law with your spendthrift ways) is okay. They can be drunk with dinner or dessert, but I like them paired with cheeses. Think special appetizers or a cheese course between the meal and the dessert. Or, if you’re entertaining non-sweet eaters, this is the perfect thing to serve in place of dessert.
Pairing ice wine with food can be tricky, but the good folks at Inniskillin Winery have gone to great trouble to lay it all out for you. If you’ve never tried it, don’t be put off by the sweetness of the wine — it’s the perfect counterbalance to cheeses, from mild to stinky. Trust me, you’ll never ruin a perfectly good gorgonzola with a glass of Cabernet again.
On an unrelated note, Delta joins Dieter’s Dance Party
Happy as a little girl? Oh yes.
This has nothing to do with food and is only tangentially related to drink (in that I consumed a huge amount in a fairly short period of time), but I feel the need to share. Yesterday I spent rather longer than anticipated in the company of Delta Airlines and its minions owing to an “equipment malfunction.” During the FIVE HOUR DELAY that resulted from a TOILET EMERGENCY on board, I had lots of time to contemplate the sartorial splendor of the flight crew, which I found to be especially effective in taking my mind off the implications of flying on a plane that had just been serviced and certified as “flight ready” by a staff who couldn’t even fix the fucking thrones. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating, thank God for the portable bar.
Anyways, during the enforced confinement — first on the tarmac, then at the Minneapolis airport (I was CONNECTING not visiting, OK?) — I couldn’t help but notice that the Delta flight crews seem to have been styled by none other than Dieter himself. In fact, to the discerning eye it was apparent that the all male stew crew were refugees from the chorus of Sprockets. Cropped hair, meticulously sculpted facial fungus, and turtlenecks (often WITH vests!) as far as the eye could see. Now I couldn’t say whether the entertainment value was intentional, but it certainly came in handy. I don’t think I asked any of the boys to pat my monkey, but then again, my recall of what went down after about the third hour is still hazy at best.
In any case, I finally got where I was going and will leave you with the following: Screw you Delta Airlines. Strong protest to follow.
Now’s the time we dance.
“Bubble by Bubble”
Leggy blondes courtesy of The Wall Street Journal
Today’s Wall Street Journal features a lengthy and informative article on Champagne, mostly the good stuff. It’s written by the always informative and eminently readable Lettie Teague. If you don’t subscribe, I think you can read it online. Or just gaze longingly at the lovely photos until the sun goes down and you can decently pop a cork. A word of advice: for your own sake and the sake of the children, skip the Tiger Mother article also in today’s paper. No good can come of it.
Time to make the Christmas Eve pot pie and snow pudding! Party on, readers!
Sunday night with the vicar, or how to cope with teatotaling guests
Not even a small sherry?
Now I know what you’re thinking, but I do not have a problem. Not since I met Dr. Feelgood Feldman anyway. In point of fact, I do entertain the occasional dry guest, someone who for religious, personal or legal reasons has chosen the path of abstemious virtue, God love ’em all. I respect that, though I cannot fathom it, since it would require me to eliminate caffeine (what goes up…) and leave me with no excuse for sleeping later than 7 am (OK, 9), and since I’m rapidly running out of vices, I feel the need to hold on to the few that remain. What’s more, a considerable chunk of my family history revolves around excessive consumption of light beer, box wine and bootleg gin, so drinking, for me, carries strong sentimental associations. Besides, it’s the only thing that makes my family interesting or my in-laws bearable.
So anyways, here it is, my list of un-potent potables, all of which taste much better when you, the host, down at least two dry martinis before your guests arrive.
Kitchen Slattern 