Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.
— Elizabeth Taylor
Avoid at all costs that vile spew you see rotting in oil in screwtop jars. Too lazy to peel fresh? You don’t deserve to eat garlic.
~Anthony Bourdain
I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I’m under the table,
after four I’m under my host.
~Dorothy Parker
Next to the presidency, detrimming a tree has to be the loneliest job in the world. It has fallen to women for centuries and is considered a skill only they can do, like replacing the roll on the toilet tissue spindle, painting baseboards, holding a wet washcloth for a child who is throwing up or taking out a splinter with a needle.
~Erma Bombeck