Category Archives: Party! Party!

If you were a drink, what would you be?

Hey Tom Brady, let’s play my favorite game!

Good times.

I love this game, which I call Conjecture, and have found that it’s especially fun to play after a few drinks, but then again what isn’t?  Really you can insert anything when starting with the question, “If you were a __________ (car/color/animal/surgical instrument/sub section of the Penal Code, etc.), what would you be?” Since I’ve got Sazeracs on the brain at the moment, I’m thinking about cocktails, and with the imminent return of my New England Patriots to the field, I’m all about football. So as we ready ourselves for the big game, I thought it might be fun to play a quick round with some of my favorite New England Patriots, but since they’re all busy practicing and I don’t know them personally, I’ll stand in.

Let’s play Jeopardy Conjecture!

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Finger Rolls: The Superbowl Party MUST

Triumph in my search for the most elusive of rolls

Certainly a finger roll, but not the one I mean. Via celticsgreen.blogspot.com.

Some of you may recall that in an earlier post I expounded on the many merits of the finger roll, not the least of which is it’s ability to absorb vast quantities of alcohol. It’s real rumble food, folks. And now that the Superbowl and all it’s bone crushing, Belichick-genius-or-madman glory is nearly here, I’ve once again taken up the quest to find finger rolls in the metropolis, where the munchkin of the bread world is about as easy to locate as a native New Yorker in Times Square.

Gold Medal Bakery's finest

And so I am thrilled to report that the good folks at the Gold Medal Bakery are still fighting the good fight and putting out these little gems. They assure me you can reliably find them at Stop & Shop grocery stores, and lo and behold there’s one a mere three miles from my house! So I called them and arranged to pick up two dozen TOMORROW which will give me plenty of time to whip up the requisite batches of ham salad and egg salad to accompany the baked beans and cole slaw for my Patriots party menu. And beer of course. I’ve been saving up my carb allocation for three weeks, my friends, and on Sunday at last beer and bread will be back on the menu. I am beside myself.

We are SO ready. Courtesy AP

Thirsty Thursday: Knocking back a Sazerac

courtesy dandybreadandcandy.blogspot.com

From the portable bar — The other day, the Taller than Average Woman sent me a recipe for a cocktail she invented that called for 99 Blackberries, which I had never heard of. Turns out it’s a blackberry flavored schnapps made by the Sazerac Company, and that got me to thinking that I hadn’t heard anyone mention the Big Easy’s favorite potable, the Sazerac cocktail, in a very long time. Now, as it involves rye, the spirit of the moment among liquor cognoscenti, I presume the Sazerac (I just love the sound of that, don’t you?) has made a resurgence and I’m just not up to speed. As a rule I avoid bars where the bartender is called a mixologist and there’s an excessive amount of muddling going on. Well truth be told, I might perhaps have worn out my welcome in one or two of them, but that’s a story for another day.

(Recipe to follow)

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What the hell are they smoking down there?

I’ll admit I have been known to troll for repulsive recipes. It’s kind of my dirty little secret, and unfortunately the internet has allowed me to discover things so far beyond the bounds of decency you would not believe it — let’s just say the odd 1950s cookbook and Elvis’s grilled peanut butter and banana sandwiches are for pikers. Witness the following recipe for Crockpot Little Smokies (filed under “Southern Food”).

Ingredients:
2 packages cocktail wieners, little smokies
1 bottle (12 ounces) chili sauce
1 cup grape jelly

Preparation:
Combine cocktail wieners or little smokies in crockpot with chili sauce and grape jelly; cover and cook on LOW for 6 to 8 hours.

No, I am not making it up. Now listen, I know I’ve got some warm weather readers out there, and enquiring minds want to know. Is this for real?

GLASS corks! What will they think of next?

Ain't that the craziest?

So there I was opening a bottle of my new favorite white wine, Cusumano Insolia from Sicily, and imagine my surprise upon discovering a glass stopper where the screw top should have been! At first I was somewhat taken aback and wondered how to extricate it from the bottle, but as my ever clear-headed husband pointed out, that’s what God gave us thumbs for.  He then proceeded to pop the cork with nary a corkscrew, et voilà!  The wine flowed like, well, wine.

Now you may have seen these little genius items, but they’re new to me, and I am some kind of excited. They fit right back in the bottle; you can keep ’em for future use in bottles with pesky cork stoppers; and they don’t stick up so far that the bottle can no longer be placed upright in the fridge without a massive reorganization requiring a slide rule and a Xanax. Win win win.

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